What helps a marriage last?
If I had to boil it down to four words: commitment, kindness, respect and appreciation.
What is the best marriage advise you've received?
To assume the best about my husband. My husband is generally well intentioned, but he's not perfect and neither am I. If I hold his imperfections against him then it just causes more conflict.
What is the more important thing you have realized?
My husband isn't a mind reader. Sometimes he tries to be helpful in ways that I just don't find helpful. I've realized that I still need to show appreciation when he is trying instead of getting upset that he didn't ask me what would have been most helpful.
Resources for Struggling Marriages
Of all the books I have read on marriage all of them have said that if you are in a violent relationship that you need to contact someone who specializes in working in those types of relationships. If you are in a violent or abusive relationship please contact the domestic violence hotline in your country.
If you are in a difficult marriage that does not mean that you have to give up on your marriage. The books below teach ways to deal with conflict in a healthy way, including topics like how to give an ultimatum. Even if your marriage is beyond repair these books can help you develop the skills to have better relationships.
Boundaries in Marriage Walks you through how to create boundaries. A great starting point for anyone experiencing conflict.
The Good Fight Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott uncover common misbeliefs about marital conflict, showing couples how a "good fight" actually enriches a relationship, making it stronger. Men and women will learn what pitfalls to avoid, how to use conflict for good, and how to diffuse anger and hurt feelings.
Loving Your Spouse When You Feel Like Walking Away the revised and updated edition of the award-winning Desparate Marriages, teaches you how to:
Recognize and reject the myths that hold you captive
Better understand your spouse’s behavior
Take responsibility for your own thoughts, feelings, and actions
Make choices that can have a lasting, positive impact on you and your spouse
An experienced marriage and family counselor, Gary Chapman speaks to those whose spouse is any of the following:
Addicted to alcohol or drugs
Marriage has the same potential to be miserable as it does to be blissful. Read Loving Your Spouse When You Feel Like Walking Away to learn how you can turn things around.
Loving Him Well discusses having the right attitude in your marriage and how to give your husband an ultimatum that speaks to the male mind.
Most marriages survive by gritting teeth and holding on. But marriages can and will not only survive but thrive when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another. Those are the powerful words of bestselling author Gary Thomas in his newest book—Cherish. And in a world desperate for marriage redemption, it is needed now more than ever.
Thomas shows that although there are a countless number of marriages consisting of two people just going through the motions, there are real ways this pattern can be reversed: when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another in proven, loving, and everyday actions and words.